Diversity, Equity & Inclusion (DEI)

Language Values Guide

At Bank Street, we believe inclusive language that reflects our human diversity is a powerful tool for creating a respectful and welcoming environment for all members of our community. In our daily interactions, the words we use are important for affirming identities and facilitating a sense of belonging.

Our Language Values Guide is a resource that helps us maintain an inclusive community by recognizing that what we say matters. This document is an evolving tool to help support School for Children faculty and staff, parents, and visiting experts—such as artists, authors, and educators—who spend time with children and adults at Bank Street. More detailed information on this content and its development is available for download in the full Language Values Guide (pdf)

Exploring the Guide

The Language Values Guide provides inclusive language guidelines for terms and phrases around families, belief systems, race, gender, ability, socioeconomics, and sexual orientation. Information is grouped by key words, phrases, or concepts, which are paired with inquiry questions to help facilitate a dialogue with children that empowers them to share more about their identity.

  • Families
    Terms and Phrases Why is this more inclusive language? Inquiry Questions
    Home “Home” means the place/s where a child is cared for by their grown-ups. Home is defined by the child and could be more than one home or a transitional home.
    • Do you mind sharing the place or places you call home?
    Grown-Ups “Grown-ups” can mean anyone who children live with and/or are being raised by, including parents, moms, dads, guardians, grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

    Words like “mom” and ”dad” can assume that children have two straight parents of opposite binary genders.
    • Who are the grown-ups in your family?
    • What do you like to do with your grown-ups?
    • Can you tell me more about how your grown-ups identify?
    Caregiver “Caregiver” can mean anyone who is caring for children.

    Terms like “nanny” or “babysitter” imply the service a person is providing, rather than the love and care they give to the child.
    • Which caregiver is picking you up today?
    • Who are the people that take care of you after school?  
    • What is your plan today? Who will be taking care of you after school?
    Partner “Partner” can mean anyone who is romantically connected. Terms like “husband,” “wife,” “girlfriend,” and “boyfriend” can bring assumptions about marriage, cohabitation, and/or heterosexual relationships within a gender binary. While meeting a child’s grown-ups for the first time, you could ask the following questions in order to allow grown-ups to identify their own relationship to the child.

    • Do you mind introducing yourselves and your relationship to the child?
    • How would you like for us to refer to you when talking to (child’s name)?
    Siblings “Siblings” can mean anyone who shares a parent, including step-siblings. Terms like “sister” and “brother” refer to a gender that might be assigned at birth and might not align with the gender identity of the sibling.
    • Do you have siblings?
    • What do you like to do with your sibling(s)?
    Family Structure “Family structure” includes whatever terminology children and their families might prefer that best represents their family, grown-ups, caregivers, partner, siblings, and can include multigenerational families, single parents, separated or divorced partners, blended families, and families formed by adoption.
    • What would you like to share about your family structure?
  • Belief Systems
    Terms and Phrases Why is this more inclusive language? Inquiry Questions
    Afterlife “Afterlife” includes many of the beliefs people and cultures use to explain a time after death. Students grapple with the cycle of life and what happens when a person dies, and they often wonder about what some belief systems call “heaven” and “hell.”
    • What would you like to know about what people believe happens when a person dies?
    • Do you know of any group of people who believe in an afterlife?
    Expression and Celebration “Expression” and “Celebration” can include many holidays, rituals, marking of life changes, and death of loved ones.
    • I wonder if you and your family have any celebrations you would like to share?
    • Do you know if your celebrations are connected to systems of belief?
    Worship “Worship” can mean many types of invocations and acts of devotion, including prayer, meditation, and serving others. To offer another/non-religious way to think about worship:

    • What are some things your family believes in and takes time to think about?
    Place of Worship “Place of worship” can include the many types of communal meeting places within belief systems, including churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples, among others.
    • Do you visit a place of worship?
    • How does your family come together to talk about things that are important to you?
    Being in community, social contract, morality, ethics We begin the school year by asking children, “What do we all need to be authentic with each other and to have a safe place to learn and take risks?” These conversations offer opportunities to create a social contract and a code of ethics that the community agrees to abide by. 
    • What do you need to feel safe?
    • What are things that are important to you in order to feel safe and be able to take risks?
    • What do you value in a social contract? Why are they important to you?

    For younger children:

    • How can we take care of each other? 
    • How can we take care of the mistakes we make with each other?
  • Race
    Terms and Phrases Why is this more inclusive language? Inquiry Questions
    Race We use the word “race” but we define it as a social construct, made up long ago by Europeans to categorize people based on shared observable physical features, such as skin tone, facial features, and hair texture.
    • Does the concept of race change the way you see the world?
    • What are some categories that people use to racially identify you?
    Racism “Racism” refers to the discrimination of a person or group of people based on race.
    • What might be some racist behaviors?
    • What might you do to help stop racism?
    Racial Identity “Racial identity” can be used to help talk about the evolution and growth of a person in their racial understanding of themselves and those around them.
    • How do you racially identify?
    • How would you describe your racial identity?
    • Would you like to talk about how you personally identify? 
    • Do you remember the first time you were aware of your own race?
    Person of Color “Person of Color” refers to people who self-identify as non-White.
    • Would you like to share more about your racial identity? 
    • How would you describe your racial identity?
    White The term “White” is used to define a person of European descent.
    • Would you like to share more about your racial identity? 
    • How would you describe your racial identity?
    Multiracial “Multiracial” refers to people who self-identify as more than one race.
    • Would you like to share more about your racial identity? 
    • How would you describe your racial identity?
    Privilege “Privilege” refers to the advantages and benefits afforded to dominant social groups, often as an absence of prejudice that people who experience racism do not experience.
    • What are some privileges you have or have always had?
    • How can you use your privilege in school? 
    • How can you use your privilege outside of school?

    Additional language used in curriculum related to race:

    Terms Definitions
    Advocates
    Upstander
    Ally    		 A person who stands up and speaks out in support of another person.
    Changemaker
    Activist    		 A person who helps create positive change.
    Bystander A person who witnesses a mistake but does not act. At Bank Street, we use the word “mistake” to describe what is often described as bully-like behavior.
    Equity The fair treatment, access, opportunity, and advancement for all people while actively working to identify and eliminate barriers that have prevented the full participation of some groups.
    Inclusion The act of creating environments in which an individual or group can be and feel welcomed, respected, and supported in a way that allows them to fully participate.
    Affinity Group A gathering of people who have similar identities. Many times, these identities are things that participants are born with.
    Stereotype A generalized and oversimplified belief that an entire group of people have a certain characteristic.
    Assumption The conclusion or acquired idea that something is true without proof.
    Ethnicity Relating to a person or to a large group of people who share a national, cultural, and/or linguistic heritage, whether or not they reside in their countries of origin. Examples include English, German, Indian, Jewish, Lenape, Nigerian, and Puerto Rican.
  • Gender
    Terms and Phrases Why is this more inclusive language? Inquiry Questions
    Gender Identity “Gender identity” is the way a person identifies and is not connected to appearance or the gender assigned at birth. Gender identity is fluid and can change over time.
    • Since gender is how a person feels on the inside, some people feel like a girl, some people feel like a boy, some people feel like both a girl and a boy, some people don’t feel like either, and some people feel different ways at different times. How do you identify?
    Pronouns When talking about gender, pronouns refer to the words someone wants other people to use in order to reflect that person’s gender identity. At the School for Children, we ask children how they would like for us to refer to them when using their name and their pronouns. This reinforces the idea that gender is something that we name for ourselves, not something that other people can name for us.
    • What pronouns, if any, do you use?
    • What pronouns, if any, may I use for you?
    • What do you call yourself?

    Everyone is encouraged to ask others what their affirming gender identity and pronouns are. If a child labels another person’s gender without asking them, we would typically respond, “Oh, you’re wondering what your friend calls themself? You can ask them.”
    People “People” can refer to a large group of individuals without gendering the group. Using terms like “boys and girls,” “ladies and gentlemen,” “miss and mister,” and “brothers and sisters” assume that all people identify within the gender binary. 
    • How do you identify?
    • What is your gender identity?
    Group of People At the School for Children, we often refer to a group or classroom using class numbers, age level, or the professions associated with the subject we are teaching, like artists, writers, musicians, or the name assigned to a small group of students.

    Sometimes, we facilitate students in grouping themselves using shoes or sandals, patterns on clothing, or by calling on students by table, interest, and room numbers.
    • What should we call ourselves as a community? 
    • Who has some suggestions for what we can use to call this group?
    • Are all artists ready to transition back into the classroom?
    Community Member, Student, Friend Terms of respect, such as “community member,” “student,” and “friend,” embrace friendship and kinship.

    In the School for Children, we avoid using terms of endearment, such as “honey,” “sweetie,” and “bud,” since they can assume and reduce a person’s identity.
    • Are friends ready to transition into class?
    • I see students are cleaning up. Can you please help your classmates?
    Profession/Job At the School for Children, we use the non-gendered profession when referring to a person’s job in order to avoid stereotypes. For example, we would say “firefighter” instead of “fireman” or “mail carrier” instead of “mailman.”
    • Who has ever met a firefighter?
    • I wonder if anyone has ever met the mail carrier?
    Stereotypes Related to Games and Toys We avoid making assumptions based on what children like to play or interact with. Toys include items, games, and manipulatives. Similarly, themes that influence children’s play are non-gendered.
    • I see that you are interested in making a large vehicle with Legos. Would you like to share more about it?
    • I see that this group has chosen to play family. Who would like to share their roles in this family?
    Gender Expression Gender expression is how someone expresses their gender identity, often through appearance (e.g., clothes, hair, makeup) and behaviors. Common gender expressions are feminine, masculine, and androgynous, but there are more. While people typically associate femininity with being a woman and masculinity with being a man, gender expressions are not tied to any particular gender.

    Often at the School for Children, when we inquire about people’s clothing, we use language that describes the texture and color rather than categorizing or touching.
    • I can tell you like wearing necklaces. Where are they from? Do you have a large collection?
    • I see you chose to wear striped socks today. How did you come to find those?
    • I see you are wearing a flowy dress today. How does it feel when you twirl?
    • I can see that your shirt is soft and fluffy. Can I feel it with my finger? If so, where can I touch it?
  • Ability

    Ability: Body

    Terms and Phrases Why is this more inclusive language? Inquiry Questions
    Body Image Having a healthy body image means that most of your feelings, ideas, and opinions about your body and your appearance are positive and appreciative. It means that you feel comfortable and confident about your appearance.
    • What part of your body do you like most?
    • What are things you can do with your body?
    • When you see yourself in the mirror, what do you see?
    Listen to Your Body We often use the phrase “listen to your body” when children are tired, hungry, or feeling unwell. Language centered in choice supports children’s understanding of what can help their bodies when they listen to what they need.
    • Take a moment and listen to your body. What do you need? Are you cold? Hungry? Tired? Thirsty?
    • What are some choices you can make for yourself in order to feel less tired?
    Taking Care of Your Body “Taking care of your body,” or your physical health, is one of the most important aspects of self-care. For children, using this language encourages them to listen to their own physical needs. There are a lot of ways to encourage healthy habits, such as taking movement breaks, playing in the park, or meditating. Also, everyday tasks that a child can accomplish on their own will make them feel empowered to take care of their bodies, including washing their hands, dressing and undressing on their own, taking care of their hair and teeth, or getting their own water and snacks.
    • What are ways that you care for your body?
    • What is easy to do? What might be hard to do?
    • How does it feel to take care of your body?
    • What could you do to take care of yourself right now? 
    • Show me how you… (zip your coat, open your lunch container, etc.)
    Changing Bodies It is normal to look different from your classmates and people in school. In fact, everybody is different and everyone is constantly growing and changing at their own pace. There’s no such thing as a normal body.
    • What are parts of your body that you know well?
    • How can you tell your body is growing and changing?
    Self-Regulation There might be times when you notice a child having a challenging time regulating their voice, their hands, or their body. We often refer to being aware of your body and actions.
    • Stop and look around. Can you tell how your friends are feeling about the way you are using your hands?
    • Can you check on your friend and help them understand what happened?
    • I can tell you need time to move your body before we have a meeting, would you like to walk around?

    Ability: Mind and Brain

    Terms and Phrases Why is this more inclusive language? Inquiry Questions
    Learning Needs and Styles In school, we delve into reflecting on our practices and approach to teaching. We often ask for feedback from children in order to find ways to meet the various learning styles in the classroom.

    Positioning different types of learning as “needs” and “styles” reinforces and supports what might be specific to that student as opposed to using terms like “normal.” 

    • How does your brain learn best? With…(e.g., a lot of practice)
    • Some brains need more practice with (insert skill or subject area here)
    • Everyone needs different things/uses different strategies to help them learn. What strategy or tool is going to help you right now? (Offer options)
    • Where might be a place for you to do your best work and learning?
    • I see that you do your best work with a partner. Would you like to work with another person now?
    Work and Job Even when outside of the classroom, children are learning and engaging in finding out more about themselves and their learning environment. We often refer to all school activities as “work” to help students understand that we value all engagements as learning opportunities.
    • Tell me more about how you solved this problem.
    • I can tell that you are listening and reflecting on each other’s learning experiences because …
    Strength and Ability Children come to learn more about their own strengths and abilities in different subjects. These can be social, emotional, and academic.

    At the School for Children, we avoid using labels, such as smart, talented, and creative. All children spend time and care in their work. They are focused, determined, and willing to take risks in their work. While working, they use various strategies to problem-solve and engage with each other in learning.

    • What about your work do you feel really good about?
    • What are your strategies to solve a problem? 
    • What helps you do your best work?

    Ability: Heart (Feelings)

    Terms and Phrases Why is this more inclusive language? Inquiry Questions
    Feelings At the School for Children, we encourage curiosity about where feelings come from and/or what may have led to a certain feeling. We help children develop language for naming emotions and connecting facial expressions with emotional states by openly talking about feelings.
    • Let’s take a look at the feelings chart. How are you feeling right now?
    • I wonder how this made you feel?
    • Can you tell how your friend is feeling right now?
    • What was happening before…?
  • Socioeconomics
    Terms and Phrases Why is this more inclusive language? Inquiry Questions
    Needs “Needs” refer to things that are necessary to survive and develop, such as food, shelter, medical care, education, and intellectual stimulation.
    • Are all of your needs met?
    • Is there anything you need that we can help you with?
    • What might be some needs that you can think of that are essential for people?
    • What is the difference between needs and wants?
    Wants “Wants” refer to things that people desire but are not essential, such as a specific brand of food, designer clothing, extracurricular activities, electronic devices for recreation and entertainment, or play dates every day.
    • What are some things you wish you had? Why is that? 
    • What is the difference between needs and wants?
    Security and Insecurity Security refers to having access at all times to enough food, shelter, and work for all household members.

    Insecurity is the uncertainty of having—or being unable to get—enough food, shelter, or work to meet the needs of all household members.
    • Do you feel that your family can provide you with all your needs in order to feel safe and secure?
    • How can you tell a person might be experiencing food insecurity?
    Home “Home” is defined by the child and could be more than one home or a transitional home. Home refers to the places where a child is cared for by their grown-ups.

    Some children can use language like “second home” or “country house” in a conversation. We often acknowledge that they have two homes and can remind them that it is not necessarily the reality of all of their friends in school.

    • Do you mind sharing about the place or places you call home?
    • I hear you talk about your country home. I am glad that you and your family have a place to go over the weekends. 
    • What do you and your friends have in common?
  • Sexual Orientation
    Terms and Phrases Why is this language more inclusive? Inquiry Questions
    Partner “Partner” can mean anyone who is romantically connected. Terms like “husband,” “wife,” “girlfriend,” and “boyfriend” can bring assumptions about marriage, cohabitation, and heterosexual relationships within a gender binary. While meeting a child’s grown-ups for the first time, you could ask the following questions in order to allow them to identify their own relationship to the child. 

    • Do you mind introducing yourselves and your relationship to the student?
    • How would you like for us to refer to you when talking to (child’s name)?
    Someone You Love At the School for Children, we support how people get to “love” whoever they want to love. We respect and appreciate every partnership.
    • Would you like to share more about the person you love? 
    • Can you tell us what you like to do together?
    Attraction You might be attracted to someone by how they think, how they feel, and how they look.